Sunday, December 10, 2017

Love Poem III

I am not fond of
      love,
for love, as I was
      taught
from infancy
(and learned my lessons well) –
      love
is but a word
      that
those who
      do not
love employ
      to cast a
rosy glow,
      a pleasant light
that covers over
      greed and
tyranny, punishment
      and
grasping power;
a sort of love that
      takes and takes
and takes again,
      until no thing
remains
      but a lone
and lorn and
      desperate shell of
the once integral
      Self of the beloved.
No.
      I am not
fond of love.

I am not fond of
      love
for the love I
      practiced
(having learned my lessons well)
      was
a grim, grasping
      contest
between lover and beloved
      to
discover which could
      first
call out the strength,
      the
power, the very Self
      from
the other, all the
      while
protecting, deep within,
      any
slight, small vestige of Truth, of
      Being,
lest that Being, offered
      as
untimely sacrifice, should be taken, taken,
      taken
until nothing was left but the
      lone and lorn and
desperate shell of the
      once integral
Self of the beloved.
No.
      I am not
fond of love.     


As I have said, I am not fond of
      love,
(having learned my lessons well)
      And yet –
as life moves forward into
      age
I find myself by slow, distrustful
      steps
arriving at new thoughts, new insights.
      Can it be
that love is not what I have learned to know so
      well,
but rather (as I scarcely care to think)
      an
odd and muddled combination
      of
respect, affection, distance, and
      acceptance;
a place, a process where
      warmth
is offered, taken,            
      shared
until the glad and growing
      Selves
of lover and beloved swell with
      pleasure
and with power.
If this is love (as I hardly dare
      believe)
then, someday (perhaps)
      I might
become
      quite
fond of love.
                                                                        Sr. Sue Elwyn, SSJD, Victoria


                                                                        March, July November, 2016

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